This April 23rd, was the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death. Inevitably, Stratford-on-Avon, went berserk in it’s own unique, British way.
Dame Judi Dench appeared to recite a few of her favourite Bard lines; Ian McKellen did guided bus tours for Londoners; and a new virtual reality game based on the Bard’s lines was released.
But one thing that really caught my eye was called, BREAKING BARD- Ruining Shakespeare for Fun
I have to say, only the Brits can do
this kind of thing with a decency
that doesn’t push people of a certain age
to hemorrhage with apoplectic rage.
I tried to imagine how the Americans would do something like this. They ruin stuff for a living.
The only serious American news worth watching is now in the hands of immigrant comics like John Oliver and Trevor Noah. And all comic television, is in the hands of what Trump calls the “birthers” – Fox News, CNN, ABC – the whole alphabet soup of it.
It then struck me, that the birthers are actually breaking the bard in their own inimitably serious and dedicated style.
So here’s a 22nd century Shakespearean Ode To Trump’s America. If the Bard turns in his grave, I can only apologize and say: we wish we were there with you.
See if you remember the originals
What’s in a name Osama? It’s OBama you idiot. And in it is my social security number, credit history and licence to stay in America, fool.
T’is neither here nor there. Nor anywhere… I made it up.
The fool doth think he is wise. What’s more, he thinks he’s the leader of the free world
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness bought for them.
What a piece of work is Da Man!
Brevity is the soul of whim
All the world’s a stage. And I own it
If you bomb us, do we not explode? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not jihad?
But hate is blind and haters cannot see, the petty follies that they themselves commit
Tempt not a desperate man. He doesn’t understand, No means No
A little more than king, a little less than kind
To see or not to see: that is the question
Having nothing, nothing can we choose
The world has gone so bad, the wrens make orange toupees where eagles dared not perch
Every man has his faults. And honestly, he is his.
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet — Romeo and Juliet. Act II, Scene II
T’is neither here nor there — Othello Act IV, Scene III
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool — As You Like It. Act V, Scene I
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them — Twelfth Night, Act II, Scene
What a piece of work is Man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! — Hamlet Act II, Scene II
Brevity is the soul of wit — Hamlet Act II Scene II
All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players — As You Like It. Act II, Scene VII
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? — Merchant of Venice, Act III, Scene I
But love is blind and lovers cannot see, the pretty follies that they themselves commit — Merchant of Venice, Act II
Tempt not a desperate man — Romeo and Juliet Act V. Scene III
A little more than kin, less than than kind — Hamlet Act I, Scene II
To be or not to be: that is the question–Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1
Having nothing, nothing can he lose — King Henry VI, Act III, Scene III
The world has gone so bad, the wrens make prey where eagles dare not perch – Richard III, Act I, Scene III
Everyman has his faults. And honesty is his – Timon of Athens, Act III, Scene I
1Photo Credit:By Unknown – The Washington Times, Public Domain